-this collection is extracts from one overarching incomplete story. Some of the links between the extracts can be seen but the overarching plot I’ve kinda got in mind is defo lost. The general idea is that it revolves around two brothers (the titular characters) who’ve moved to the city and how their mindsets and ideals change in this new environment. Eventually, their conflicting desires create distance between the two brothers and Conor flees and has a mental breakdown in the forest the piece ends as Mark decides to give up searching for his brother in the forest.
Car Convo
“ Where the fuck are we”
“I’ve no clue man”
The two brothers are sitting in the cramped car. Streetlights flash past them, as they drive along the empty motorway. Conor sits behind the wheel, his eyes barely leaving the stretched road ahead. Mark, In the passenger seat, gazes out the window at the hazy darkness.
“Should we go somewhere?” he queries, turning away from the window.
“Nah.” Mark replies, “Let’s just drive.”
“Alright”
An empty silence fills the car. Conor takes his eyes off the road for a fleeting moment, glancing at his younger brother. “Do you wanna go somewhere?”
“Nah.” he hesitates for a moment, his voice trailing off “I mean- I don't know.”
Conor glances again. “You got somewhere you wanna go?”
There's no reply.
“We can go somewhere if you want.”
Their gazes meet. “I don't think- you wouldn't get it.”
“Dude, just tell me. We can drive anywhere.”
Mark slowly turns back to the window. “I don't like-I don't have a somewhere I wanna go, I just-I wanna go somewhere.” He keeps his stare out the window.
“What?”
He looks away from the window again. “I knew you wouldn't get it, man”
Yeah, I don't” his eyes are firmly back on the road. “You gonna explain?”
“It's like- I- I just wanna know that we’re going somewhere. That I'm going somewhere.”
“We are going somewhere”
“But we don't know where.”
“That doesn't matter.”
“Of course, it matters.”
“How does it matter? We're going to go somewhere. We're going to take turns, and change roads. We'll end up somewhere. We’ll have gone somewhere.”
The car is slowing down now.
“But I have to know where that somewhere we're going is now. Before we get there.”
“Why do you need to know now?”
“Because if I don't know now how will I know when we’re there?”
He takes his eyes from the road again.
“What?”
He takes his from the window.
“If I don't know where I'm going how will I know when I've arrived?”
“That's a stupid question?”
“Can you answer it?
“I” he turns back to the road. “I-I'm tired man.
“ See,” he stares right his older brother. “You can't. We won't know. Maybe we'll get somewhere and declare it as ‘the somewhere,’ but it won't be. It'll just be a plain, old, regular somewhere. If we don't turn ‘a somewhere’ into ‘the somewhere’ we’ll never get anywhere.”
He sits back in his seat.
“We need a ‘the somewhere’. Then we can finally get there, we'll know. We can look around and say ‘Well done us. We aimed for ‘a somewhere’ and made it. Job done.’ If we don't make that place ‘the somewhere’ we’ll just drive right past it. We’ll end up nowhere. Or worse at the wrong somewhere. If we know ‘the somewhere’ we can go home and say we did it. It doesn't matter what it is. But we have to know what it is before we do it.”
He sits back up now, full of passion and feeling.
“I have to do something. I have to. We have to. If we don’t do something then we’ll just go back home and say we've done NOTHING!”
He sits back. The night is silent. His brother looks over at him, his eyes as quiet as the night.
“Is that so wrong?”
I Can’t Sleep
Mark
My head lies on the pillow. Eyes closed, my pounding heart keeps me awake. She was perfect. That night was perfect. For a moment the whole world was perfect. Where was Conor man? I’ve gotta tell him about her. About her smile, her eyes, the way she tilts her head back when she laughs. I’ve gotta tell him about the whole thing. How even the awkward gaps felt like a conversation of their own. How she would start showing me pictures of her dogs whenever one of us made a bad joke. I wanna tell him that I’ve found someone. Where the fuck is he? The clock stitches for 12. Was he not taking a quiet one today? He better be home soon.
Conor
Just me, the rain and the night. The dark cloud looks overhead. Silence encompasses the forest. It feels real. Realer than anything I’ve ever felt. Mark’s probably sleeping right now. Wonder how his date went.I’ll head home in an hour. Not yet though. The quiet is comforting. I’m alone. I like it.
All I Can Be
Mark
The moon hangs, suspended in the sky. Dark clouds keep the stars light from view. I’m staggering through the woods, the heavens my only comfort. A light rain wets my hair, and I turn away from the darkened sky that lies overhead. The moonbeams strike the forest floor the light reflecting against the soaked leaves, creating a night sky underfoot. The wind flares up, pressing my damp clothes against my skin. A chill runs through me. I stop walking. My head turns back to the sky, and I watch as the dark clouds cover my final light. The moon fades. Darkness consumes all. A final desperate scream escapes me, “CONOR!” Silence returns my call. I dont know where to turn. I dont know what to do. “Where are you Conor?”
Conor
Im alone now. Truly alone. Truly free. Mark can search high and low, but im free now. We were too different, I see that now. He wants more than me, a different life, to be someone. I dont need that. Mark is so much more than me, but… he will never be enough. I am enough. So much less, but enough. I guess that means this is all I can be.